Sirona Says

How many HR staff does it take to change a lightbulb?

With all the talk of recessionary post election cost cutting in the UK, I thought I would highlight that there may well be a little fat in the public sector, when it comes to the HR departments! I know there is discussion in government circles of centralising HR functions and massive cost cutting, and to be honest I do agree (for organisational efficiencies not necessarily cost cutting) - if it is good enough for the private sector then there is no reason for the public sector to avoid this as well. 

So just to highlight the resources that could be trimmed, take a look at this set of instructions I came across for the changing of a light bulb within public sector HR departments  (how many people?):

• One to change the light bulb.
• The second to assess the risk of the light bulb changing process.
• A third to ensure the light bulb changing process adheres to the internal compliance regime for health and safety during light bulb changes.
• A fourth to ensure that the internal purchase order procedures have been adhered with for light bulb change orders.
• A fifth to audit the supply of the light bulb following the internal purchase order procedure.
• A sixth to report back to the compliance and risk functions that the supply and audit divisions had complied with the light bulb change risk and compliance procedures.
• A seventh to monitor that the light bulb was changed by a member of staff who was cleared by the CIPD to be authorised with light bulb changing management.
• And an eighth being the most important.........they are responsible for costing the light bulb changing process and being creative enough to incorporate the pricing of the eight people into their customers' monthly billing statement without their customer noticing.

Who says you have to be process driven in the public sector!!

OK, so I was only joking! But I bet it made you think...................well maybe just for a minute?

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With all the talk of recessionary post election cost cutting in the UK, I thought I would highlight that there may well be a little fat in the public sector, when it comes to the HR departments! I know there is discussion in government circles of centralising HR functions and massive cost cutting, and to be honest I do agree (for organisational efficiencies not necessarily cost cutting) - if it is good enough for the private sector then there is no reason for the public sector to avoid this as well. 

So just to highlight the resources that could be trimmed, take a look at this set of instructions I came across for the changing of a light bulb within public sector HR departments  (how many people?):

• One to change the light bulb.
• The second to assess the risk of the light bulb changing process.
• A third to ensure the light bulb changing process adheres to the internal compliance regime for health and safety during light bulb changes.
• A fourth to ensure that the internal purchase order procedures have been adhered with for light bulb change orders.
• A fifth to audit the supply of the light bulb following the internal purchase order procedure.
• A sixth to report back to the compliance and risk functions that the supply and audit divisions had complied with the light bulb change risk and compliance procedures.
• A seventh to monitor that the light bulb was changed by a member of staff who was cleared by the CIPD to be authorised with light bulb changing management.
• And an eighth being the most important.........they are responsible for costing the light bulb changing process and being creative enough to incorporate the pricing of the eight people into their customers' monthly billing statement without their customer noticing.

Who says you have to be process driven in the public sector!!

OK, so I was only joking! But I bet it made you think...................well maybe just for a minute?

If you like reading this blog, then click on the orange RSS icon here and get the latest Sirona Says posts delivered to your RSS reader or your inbox the moment they come out.

There is workplace stress and THEN there is recruiter stress!!

As a longstanding recruiter, I am very well aware of the dreaded six letter world called stress. But, within the recruitment industry - client side and agency side - medium to high stress levels go with the territory, don't they?

BUPA did a survey a while ago and discovered that  whole series of workplace stress triggers, with the top four being:

1. Lack of control over work
2. Excessive time pressures
3. Excessive or inflexible working hours
4. Too much or too little work

But what some people don't get is that the world of recruitment is a WHOLE different ball game, when it comes to stress! (just ask my wife, my doctor, my heart specialist and my therapist - only joking .......no seriously I am only joking!!)

So in no particular order here are a number of 'stress inducers' common to the recruitment industry:

1. Candidate rejects an offer when telling you there is nothing else, only to find out they have been lying all along and have other offers on the table
   
2. You lose a candidate because the client has taken too long to decide
   
3. Candidate not turning up for an interview you have taken 3 weeks to arrange
   
4. Clients not selecting your 'perfect' candidate for interview
   
5. 8.AM Monday meetings (after a bad previous week!)
   
6. Your placement not turning up on the first day AND then not being able to contact them at all!
   
7. Your contractor 'having a mind of his own' and upsetting the client
   
8. Client who 'sacks'your placement in the first week and then refuses to pay!
   
9. Sales meetings when the market is tough and there is just one, smart arse know it all who has been the only one to archive their target (and they are the best pal of the Sales Manager to boot!)
   
10. The 'guaranteed' placement' goes wrong!!Your pipeline has been toileted
    
11. You have promised the client CV's, and your are already past your deadline because your two best candidates haven't got back to you with an update
    
12. You find that great CV only to find out another agency sent the CV first to your client

Of course there are many more examples, and if there are any ones I have missed please do let me know!!

Come on folks, you must know some classics!

If you like reading this blog, then click on the orange RSS icon here and get the latest Sirona Says posts delivered to your RSS reader or your inbox the moment they come out.

As a longstanding recruiter, I am very well aware of the dreaded six letter world called stress. But, within the recruitment industry - client side and agency side - medium to high stress levels go with the territory, don't they?

BUPA did a survey a while ago and discovered that  whole series of workplace stress triggers, with the top four being:

1. Lack of control over work
2. Excessive time pressures
3. Excessive or inflexible working hours
4. Too much or too little work

But what some people don't get is that the world of recruitment is a WHOLE different ball game, when it comes to stress! (just ask my wife, my doctor, my heart specialist and my therapist - only joking .......no seriously I am only joking!!)

So in no particular order here are a number of 'stress inducers' common to the recruitment industry:

1. Candidate rejects an offer when telling you there is nothing else, only to find out they have been lying all along and have other offers on the table
   
2. You lose a candidate because the client has taken too long to decide
   
3. Candidate not turning up for an interview you have taken 3 weeks to arrange
   
4. Clients not selecting your 'perfect' candidate for interview
   
5. 8.AM Monday meetings (after a bad previous week!)
   
6. Your placement not turning up on the first day AND then not being able to contact them at all!
   
7. Your contractor 'having a mind of his own' and upsetting the client
   
8. Client who 'sacks'your placement in the first week and then refuses to pay!
   
9. Sales meetings when the market is tough and there is just one, smart arse know it all who has been the only one to archive their target (and they are the best pal of the Sales Manager to boot!)
   
10. The 'guaranteed' placement' goes wrong!!Your pipeline has been toileted
    
11. You have promised the client CV's, and your are already past your deadline because your two best candidates haven't got back to you with an update
    
12. You find that great CV only to find out another agency sent the CV first to your client

Of course there are many more examples, and if there are any ones I have missed please do let me know!!

Come on folks, you must know some classics!

If you like reading this blog, then click on the orange RSS icon here and get the latest Sirona Says posts delivered to your RSS reader or your inbox the moment they come out.

The Four Twitter Emotions (cartoon)

A Joe Heller cartoon that I have ammended slightly!!

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2009 Top 10 Christmas Gifts for Recruiters and HR people

Firstly, thanks you to everyone that provided me with the input for my 2009 Top 10 Christmas Gifts for Recruiters and HR.

This is obviously a little tongue in cheek, so this year, please don't expect me to be giving you a list you can take to the shops and buy your favourite recruiter a nice Christmas gift! :)

So here you go, your top 10 christmas gifts you selected for 2009:

10. An iPhone app which will send a subliminal message to all hiring managers within 5 feet of a candidate's iPhone saying "Hire them... hire them... hire them". From corporate recruiter Dan Nuroo from Australia. While this is a great idea, he may find that Aussies have still to master the power of the iPhone, so he may have to wait a little longer for this app to get some traction (probably 2014 I reckon!).

9. Water! No this isn't to save the African droughts, it is much more selfish than that! Justin Hillier is moving back to Australia and launching a social media consultancy. As we all know, social media is still way too far advanced for the Aussies, so Justin is hoping for some water to help grow the social media industry in Australia - or was it the gardens in Melbourne that needed the water? Anyway good luck to Justin back in Oz!

8. A Recruiters Handbook. Jennifer McNally is obviously struggling with some colleagues in her office. She has simply had enough of them stealing her ideas and constantly questioning her why she is so successful as a recruiter. So, she went out there and purchased recruiter handbooks for everyone in her office. Either she is brilliant and wants to make her colleagues better, or she is just a moody recruiter who hoards all her candidates -  you decide!! LOL

7. An (old fashioned) Pen and Paper. I have to say this is a revelation and one that I just can't argue with :) The guys over at HR Case Studies think that recruiters need these, and need them quick!
They think that recruiters have lost the knack of communication, and that they need to the pen and paper to remind them of when to phone their candidates with feedback! Bad experiences me thinks!!

6. A Crystal Ball. Bill Boorman, went off on a longwinded explanation of why we need to all have access  to a crystal ball for 2010 (in his nomination for this top 10), but to be honest I just ignored it! :) Bill's suggestion is very valid though, because if we all had one then we wouldn't be making all these stupid mistakes by ignoring social media like Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn as recruiting tools!!! Go Twitter Bill, as you shall named in 2010!!

5. An automatic nose job tool. This is my idea - and I have to say I am thinking of patenting it!! As well know too many recruiters are fond of a little 'truth extending' (or just plain lying if you want to be truthful about it!!) As we all know, when you lie your nose grows a little (OK, I might have 'borrowed' this concept from Pinocchio!), so to stop recruiters from poking many holes in the walls of the offices they work in, they will need to have their noses surgically changed (probably every week!). Hence the need for a tool that cuts your nose off regularly! Barbaric? Yes! But an essential tool of a recruiters office :-)

4. Sh*t Proof Umbrella. This ia a small light portable titanium & completely wind proof umbrella which you can carry around the office and deployed quickly when the sh** hits the fan! The mysterious MaskedBloggHR came up with this good suggestion - maybe he/she hides their anonymity behind their own personal umbrella!! Obviously, they work in an office that has some serious sh*t flying around in it!!

3. Internal Candidate Seek & Destroy Missile. I love this one!! Those clever guys over at Purple House HR have been playing with bombs again! This is genius  - It is a high explosive missile for those times when even though you've asked if they exist, an internal candidate suddenly pops out of the blue when you least expect it (usually at final interview stage). Simply hit the big red button and hey presto, bye bye internal candidate...........oh yes! >>BANG<<

2. Phone based Bullsh*t detector. Brilliant -  an HR Top Choice!!  Things is I reckon Alex Hens is getting a little too clever with his suggestion!  This detects a recruitment consultant calling you speculatively and rather than hanging up, answers the call, and then sends them on a hold loop for the next 10 minutes before then hanging up. This saves hours in a working week, helps your peers and colleagues and gives massive personal satisfaction to boot - surely that's perfect gift? Do you know what Alex, you might have a good point here! But, sorry Wendy just pips you to the post of no.1 spot:)

1. A Magic CV Tool! Virgin blogger Wendy Jacob came up with this simple yet brilliant Christmas Gift for us all. Wendy has devised a computer program that you can run all the crappy CVs though which then magically extrapolates all the good stuff and formats it into the perfect CV! I think Wendy has had enough of seeing all those CV's that are a pile of crap and constantly need reformatting! Well done Wendy, I look forward to getting a copy of your new product!!

A big thanks to all of you that entered your ideas for this 2009 Christmas list. I hope you have enjoyed reading these - it has certainly been fun for me to crowd source this list, and put it together!

Obviously, up north, they work on a different timezone or is it just because she is blond? I have just had a late suggestion from a certain Lisa Scales, which I have to say, does actually merit inclusion at no.11, hence my last minute addition:
She would like to see a Twitter plug-in that knows when someone claiming to be an expert about social media is bull sh*ting and auto amends their post to say “I am not an expert and will stop RT'ing articles to make myself look good”
Anyone want to guess who she is talking about? 

Christmas crowdsourcing time please:) Can you provide me with just one idea, for the ultimate (fun) Christmas Gift List for HR and Recruiters?

For the last two years I have written two christmas posts that have been very popular with all of you. The posts were of a similar title; The Top 10 Christmas Gifts for a Recruiter. (Check out the Top 10 for 2007 as well).

I can of course come up with my own gadget laden list, but I thought it would be much more fun to ask you for your top gift for a recruiter or HR person, and then I will compile them all in a Recruiters and HR Christmas Gift List for 2009.

So what do you reckon, can you help me on this one?

Please email me your idea or (preferably) write a one liner in the comments below. Of course if you have more than one idea please feel free to share them all.

Let me get you started........

1. A case of Tequila - well it is the staple drink of all recruiters after all!!

So in the spirit of sharing, what do you think will make a great nerdy/geeky/funny/useless/trivial gift for a an HR person or Recruiter this Christmas?

Competition time!! Have some fun at @BillBoorman expense and win a prize valued at £200

Well folks, it's competition time!

In a few weeks, on the 19th November, it is the Recruiting Unconference, and as you may know I have the great pleasure of running one of the days tracks - Blogging.

I plan to have some fun, and I hope that everyone who shares some time with me on the day, will actively participate and create in an engaging track on all aspects of blogs.

The good news is that I have two tickets to give away, worth £200 each, to the Recruiting Unconference event

To get your hands on one of these tickets, you will need to enter a very simple competition. As I am running the blogging track, then you can guess what the competition will be on, can't you!

To enter, please answer this question:

Bill Boorman, the creator of the Unconference,  has already developed a fearsome Twitter reputation, averaging over 100 tweets a day (yes you heard that correctly!), and is soon to become the ReTweet King of Twitter - a title he obviously cherishes!  He hosts 3 radio shows on 3 continents on the same day each week, and his wife is now wondering why she keeps finding blue feathers around the house!

 

So, the question for the competition is:

If Bill were to start writing his own blog, what should it be called?

The prizes will be awarded to the two people that make me laugh the most! Cleverness, innuendo and totally politically uncorrectness would be a bonus in your suggestions!!

The closing date is the 11th November, with the winner being announced on the 12th November. And sorry folks, while I will of course be consulting you over the next week re the most funny answers, my decision will be final!! ( I have always wanted to say that!!)

So come on then all you creative types, please leave your answers in the comments below.

My Top 10 Funny Job Interview Cartoons

While image searching on Google the other day, I came across one of these cartoons which made me laugh. So I went digging and found a few more, so in the spirit of sharing some smiles, I have put them together into a job interview cartoon top ten.

Here goes....in 10th position

 

In 9th

 

In 8th....

Unconventional promotion methods for the upcoming Unconference

For those of you who haven't heard, next month (19th November) sees a new type of event hitting the calender -  a Recruiting Unconference. No, before you ask (like others already have!) it isn't a conference for the recruitment undead!!

For this new type of event, the creator, Bill Boorman, has decided upon a new form of promotion for the event - voiced cartoons, which I have to say are very effective indeed!
So here you go, see what you think of these clever videos.........(the second one is my favourite!)

The Recruiting Unconference part 1

The Recruiting Unconference part 2

If you want to know more about the event, check out this website.

Why generation Y'ers will be a problem for us all for years to come

While walking to the garage to pick my car up from its service this morning, I ended up following four  first year high school girls (young gen Y'ers) walking to school ( I am guessing that by the way from their conversation!). The conversation I heard made for some interesting listening.........

If these young students are any indication of the current younger end of gen Y'ers in the workplace then employers are in for a nasty shock! (I know they are not necessarily indicative of all teenagers, but it was funny listening to them, and it made my trip to the garage much more amusing!)

Here are some of the things I listened to from all four of the girls:

• " I got three letters so far sent to my mum saying I have got to stop calling Mr XXXXX (a teacher) a loser." " Mum told me to stop saying it, but it won't stop me, 'cos he is a total loser!"
• (in reply) That's nothing I have already had a detention for calling Miss YYYY (a teacher) and twat and an idiot"
• "whatever......I have been done five times for being late"
• "My mum and dad have already had to go down to the school, because I don't do any of my homework on time" ." I have told them they are making me work too hard!"
• " I got sent out of english class last week for calling Leanne a ******* bitch 'cos she got an answer right". "I hate her anyway 'cos she's a right know-it-all anyway"
• "I have been told that I have a real attitude to teachers in lessons, and if I don't sort it out then I will be given detentions...............w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r, I don't give a **** anyway" 

While these may be on the amusing side, they do show that society is changing fast, and words like respect are becoming less important to the gen Y'ers.

(And just for the record, they were all late!!)

The Recruitment Social Media Chain

Does the recruitment social media chain have an ending?

(I guess we could factor in a radio show .......what about the social media TV show on top of that?)

[Adapted from a Hubspot cartoon]